Blog #4

What are the characteristics of a good family? I don't feel that there is one answer for this question but rather everyone is going to answer the question differently based on what there perception of a good family is. To me a good family is a family that spends quality time together. A family that respects and loves one another and they work together to benefit the family as a whole. To me my family is good family when I know that I am caring for my daughter to the best of my ability and seeing to all of her needs while at the same time spending quality time with my daughter and being able to connect and form that special bond with her that will last forever. Although these things make work for our family they may not be the needs or desire of another family.

What does it mean to balance career and family? To me balancing career and family is being able to do work and take care of my family equally so that neither side suffers. Being able to drop my daughter off at school every day and then go to work to me is balancing my work and my family because I know that she is arriving safely at school and I get to share in those moments of taking her and being able to talk to her on the drive there as to what she will be doing in her classes today and doing any last minute preperations for tests. I am lucky to have a job that understands that there are certain events for my daughter that I have made a commentent to her to be at. For example parent teacher conferences and after school functions that she should be able to enjoy as a child along with her peers. Another way that I am able to balance work and family is being able to talk on the phone with my daughter as she is walking home from schoool and again when she arrives to home safely. I think one of the best things that I learned as working mother was not to take my work home with me. Once I get home that is our time, its time to fix dinner and talk about how her day went. Its a time to sit down and do homework together and leave the cell phone in the other room.

What factors make this balancing difficult to achieve? Some times things come up that are unavoidable like getting a call from the school nurse that my child is sick and we are already 2 people down that day and it is impossible for me to just pick up and leave. Now that my daughter is getting older she has become more active in sports so balancing family and work has become more of a challenge. My daughter plays softball and they practice 2 nights a week and practice starts the same time I get off work. It take me 30 mins to drive to and from work so I would have to leave work almost and hour and a half early to be able to drive home pick up my daughter and drive her back to practice which happens to be right down the street from where I work. So in order for this to work we had to reach out to family for help in getting her to practice and then I would meet her there and take her home after practice which meant that 2 nights a week we no longer got to sit down as a family and eat dinner together.

How have changes in traditional gender roles made work and family issues more complex? With more women getting educated and wanting careers it is changing the way the traditional roles within the family. With mom now out of the home working the husband may have to step up and take on more roles and responsabilities within the home such as cleaning, preparing meals and shuffling the children to their various activities. This can be challenging for the family when the roles of the parents are suddenly reversed. Children may be accustome to the way mom did things and it may be an adjustment to the way dad does things. We can only hope that there would be no atimosity or resentment from the father who has now having to do things which for generations individuals have labeled womans work.
Employers can be sensitive to their employees family needs or obligations by sitting down and discussing the needs of the employees family one on one with the employee. The employee needs to understand that they have been hired to perform a certain task and that these tasks need to be done. The employer on the other hand could realize the time and expense that has gone into training this employee and the benefit of working with this employee so that both parties benefit from a situation that may be short lived.
How might having the support of family members, workers or neighbors make balancing priorities easier? I think it is very important to reach out when help is needed rather than to try and burden the load on your own in silence. When there is an issue of children arriving home prior to their parents check with a neighbor to see if it your children could go their till your arrival home. If your children will be arriving home along after school then sit down and work with them and so that they know what the rules are while they are home alone and what their roles and responsabilities are until you arrive home. Also involve your coworkers in the change that has taken place make them aware that you will be recieving a call everyday around this time from children to let you know that have arrived home safely. If there is an issue of getting children to after school activies for example team sports work with the other parents on the team to secure your child a ride to the activity and in return you could be the picking up parent that drives the children home.