Blog 10

I didn’t know Motherhood would be this hard.


The birth of a child should be a wonderful experience for Mothers and yet so many are faced hardships they did not foresee. We learn through the women in Chaudry’s book the challenges that women facing when trying to better themselves for the benefit of their families while also looking out for the best interest of their children. Sara for example was a mother a mother who took drastic steps to ensure to ensure safe and adequate childcare for her daughter. With limited resources available to Sara she turned to the first at only option available to her at the time which was family. Family can be a strong helping hand to a mother trying to work and raise her children but there are also times like Sara’s for example where family is not always the best option. The help that Sara’s mother provided was a roof over their head and a safe place to sleep at night, but along with this came the constant arguments and reminder that Sara and her daughter were making things harder and really not that welcome. Sara was able to see that this situation was not good for her or her daughter and left. The next kin support that Sara sought out was Cristina’s father and his family back in Ecuador. Living conditions there were also crowded and with women being expected to stay home with their children and jobs and income scarce for Cristina’s father Sara new that returning to the States would still offer the most benefits to her and her child. Sara experienced a fear that no mother should feel when her wonderful daycare provider asked Sara to give her Cristina because she loved the baby and could provide more for her than Sara could. Due to this experience Sara became even more determined to find childcare for Cristina in an environment that Sara felt safe leaving her there and to know that her child would be loved and cared for. It’s a sad time when a mother such as Sara turns to a shelter as her only hope of getting adequate help for her and her child. Lying in a room in a shelter with a table against a door as your only protection fearing that if you close your eyes someone may enter and hurt you or your child, this is a situation you would expect to see play out in a movie and yet this is really happening to real people. That fear of constantly wondering if your child was safe is a fear so close to my own heart. I was 22 years old when my son was born and his father and I had to hold down full-time low paying jobs to make ends meet which limited our daycare options. I opted to place my son with an in home childcare provider because of costs and the benefits I felt he would receive with a more one on one atmosphere. The first provider was recommended by a family member and was within our budget. She was great and I felt safe leaving my son in her care. Unfortunately the sitter’s financial situation changed which forced her to seek employment outside of the home. The next childcare provider we found off of a list of highly recommended providers and she too did childcare out of her home. She was great and once again I felt safe and comfortable leaving my son in her care but do to changes in my childcare providers circumstances I was once again forced to look again for childcare. This time I turned to the previous sitter’s back up sitter who had watched my son while his regular sitter was out of town. She came highly recommended and she had an opening, my son started bright and early Monday morning and my son was killed Thursday morning the day before he turned 2. My son was beaten and suffocated by the babysitter I hired to take care of him. The following year I had a daughter and I could not face the thought of leaving her in the care of anyone so I quit work and started watching children out of my home as a form of income. My marriage did not survive the death of our son so not I was single, raising a child on my own and unable to leave her in anyone else’s care. I had to sacrifice many things in my life to be able to stay home with my daughter and its amazing how the government decides how much money is too much money for a mom to make to receive benefits. Sara saw that the only way to make a better life for her and her daughter and get assistance in doing so was to enter the shelters and follow the sometimes ridiculous steps on the system to get housing for her and her daughter. Sara states in her interview that although things got really rough at times her daughters life was less interrupted due to the quality of childcare Sara sought out and arranged for her through her determination and never giving up.